I loved my grandmothers dearly, may they rest in peace. No matter the culture, respect is a big deal. When we had vacations with them by my side, I would sit and listen to them tell their stories about what they experienced growing up.
My grandmother's stories were the landscapes where wisdom was built for me. My grandmothers taught me respect, piety and purity, compassion, overcoming struggles with an internal belief from within that I could, love, big fierceness in the form of a stealthy quiet charming likeable child (me), bravery, and courage. The things they dealt with broke my heart but taught me how to deal with things. They didn't have a higher education like mine, but they had a 'people education.' Their shared tough lessons of life prepared me for what life brings for everyone- challenges and choices. It gave me a sense of the brokenness of people, but also the beauty of people. How they can choose to be immensely kind, humble, respectful, and loving towards others who were not to them, and yet strong enough to manage to build a family and life?
The stories they shared allowed me to understand what the feats in life might require. For example; my grandmothers were taken out of school in the 1920s to learn how to be housewives. They were in their teens. This was to prevent my grandmothers from being impregnated. It showed me the love my grandmothers had for their families yet eventually grew to be strong in their own opinions, bold, and financially provided for their families.
The point of this post is to allow your elders to tell their stories if you haven't already. You never know- it may come in handy, something you can refer to a mental note you made while listening to your elders cope with people and use it where applicable in today's world. History repeats itself. Find the patterns and make a change. And your grandmothers/grandfathers will only live once. One day you might miss them, but at least you would've had the opportunity to take full advantage of their presence when they were around. Then, the memory becomes a sweet fact that you spent time with them. There's no guilt, there's only YOLO!
Please share with me your stories and your thoughts on this post. I would love to hear your stories!
Recommendations:
-Always go with your gut. Go at a pace where you feel comfortable and do what's best for your health and consider factors important to your decision to listen to stories about your elders. There is no one-size-fits-all approach- we are uniquely special. If you want to start on this, maybe the best place to start is to determine which elder, related or not, is open, and supportive of you. Mostly, people love to talk about themselves. So tell them you want to hear what their life experiences were like.
-There's a great game called Table Topics for families that you can play with your grandparents or non-related "adopted" grandparents that guide discussions like these- great icebreakers! See the link for a description and picture of what it looks like.
-Talk with your psychologist or medical provider or someone you trust on deep matters of the heart. This blog is not a source of medical advice or matters that can relate to medical issues. It's simply what I've done and you can choose to take it as a suggestion or say thanks and do nothing with it. You have your freedom of choice.
